This was great and I agree. I was literally thinking of Carpenter and Cronenberg just as their names came up. Adding this to my cadre of creative mantras. There's a lot of me that holds back in my creative subject matter for the exact reason of not wanting to be off-putting in how much I care about certain things. And on a separate note, I've been internally debating whether or not to make sex and the interactions around it actually influential and thematically tied into the plot of the games I'm writing. That's where I want to go with it naturally, but I think I've mainly been worried I'd alienate people with my perspective on sex and power dynamics. But like... controversial social dynamics that can be a mix of empowering and toxic are one of the things I am passionate about analyzing, dissecting, and writing. Basically, this was a really affirming read and I appreciate it lol.
Generally agree, though a bit put off by the entirely uncritical examinations Tarantino and co., whose mediums involve the use of real actors, real people, to (on occasion) deliver their own personally-appealing fetish content and the unironically creepy and sometimes predatory dynamics often involved in those kinds of circumstances. Especially when men of untouchable influence are the ones leading such projects.
Being a responsible and committed creep means tearing into what you love and ripping apart every shitty and bad aspect of it, just as much as it means celebrating the fun and good parts of it, lmao.
Very nicely said. All my favorite art is so good because it doesn't shy away from making the creator look weird. Fuck cringe culture and everything connected to it.
Thank you for writing this, I used to feel kind of shamed by my fetishes, but recently been more open about them and including them in my works, and have felt a lot better about doing so
Glad to hear that other people feel the same way, I'm glad to be a sicko >:3
Haha, YES. (I absolutely agree with everything you said, it's like you put my thoughts into words, power be to the perverted and the enthusiastic without any shame.
As someone below said, I’m not sure if “hyperreality” is the right term to describe it since people will think of the Matrix and the boring numbing stuff that the writer is railing against. But I get the idea of what “hyperreality” is supposed to be about: a more truthful, honest depiction of reality without the pretensions of normalcy and restraint.
So I basically agree with the thesis here, but I am a little confused by your use of term "hyperreality." As I understand it, hyperreality doesn't refer to all fiction, but specifically media that - by following a generic model - is so detached from lived experience as to lose all meaning. In this sense, it doesn't simply "bend the nature of true life to remove the worst bits and intensify the bits we get off to," rather there are no longer any features of "true life," good or bad. It's "hyper" not in the sense of being extreme, but rather as being above reality, superimposed on top of reality like the map Baudrillard describes at the beginning of Simulacra and Simulation. It's a numbness which offers just enough pleasure to tug at our dopamine receptors, but which is ultimately unsatisfying. It seems to me that hyperreality is diametrically imposed to the kind of visceral, passionate creativity that you're celebrating, but you almost seem to conflate the two. Am I missing something? Are you working from a different definition of the word? I'm not trying to be a pedantic dick, just genuinely curious if there's some theory regarding hyperreality that I'm not familiar with here.
I've been worrying a lot these days if the games i make are too self-indulgent, or just otherwise too hyperfocused on the things i care about, for people to give a fuck about. i worry that maybe i should tone my shit down a bit, because being too raw and emotional and honest could mean opening myself to ridicule.
this essay is making me radically rethink how i approach my anxieties about this. thank you.
i come back to this so often. sometimes i just keep it open in another tab while doing gamedev so i don't forget what matters. thanks so much for this!
This kicks so much ass and was a truly fantastic read.
All creators should embrace the inner sicko inside them. Own up to what you are into, the art that is the most impactful is the art where the creator is veryinto something, perhaps a bit too into something, and you can tell. Whatever that thing may be.
Fear and censorship of the self from said fear makes for work one will find either boring, or a drag to get through. Be true to yourself and channel that inner sicko into your craft. Go all in.
Whatever the medium may be, a game, book, art, comic, etc, your art will be so much better for it.
Can't state enough how great this was. Thank you so much for making this.
I thought that was quite well-reasoned. I believe that, in general, people get caught under not only their general tendency to be worried about sexuality due to a variety of societal influences (especially if raised in a conservative household) but also because they're uncertain of what it really means to pay attention to boundaries - the boundaries that matter are the ones that apply in our life interacting with other people directly, whereas what's considered acceptable in something one makes are quite different and much more arbitrary. That's where the urge to not make what /you/ want becomes so awkward and comes in - the urge to self-censor for the sake of success or something. Of course, if you want to make something lots of people will enjoy and won't dismiss on principle, or to try to convince people who aren't like you, there's a certain value to figuring out what people will "let down their defenses" around and try to interact with earnestly - but it's important to remember that just because people will often be dismissive about stuff doesn't mean you can't communicate with people who'll get a lot out of it by being totally earnest. And self-censoring oneself to try to get those people who'd dismiss you is more likely to mean you've weakened your creation into something not even you like for the sake of people who might not even glance at it anyway. It's important to be honest with one's self.
massive fan of this essay, thought of these couple of passages from this review of uncharted 4 while reading it:
thanks so much for writing this. it's really hard 2 let go of that sense of embarrassment at expressing a genuine feeling/obsession/fetish but i'm getting there and it's very worth it. kill not the part of you that is cringe, kill the part that cringes!! much love<3
i am using pervert both literally and metaphorically here; the criticism of irony culture etc and the penultimate closing paragraph mentioning "perversion for nonsexual topis and themes" support this reading of it not being exclusively About Sex but, as the tweet quote suggests - the same passions drive both. (although for me personally and in the context of an increasingly puritanical culture, it is primarily a stance About Sex.)
not to take away from the rly good answer but also as an asexual (or at least on the ace spectrum), i am one hell of a pervert in a sexual way too xD (asexuals be different though!)
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This was great and I agree. I was literally thinking of Carpenter and Cronenberg just as their names came up. Adding this to my cadre of creative mantras. There's a lot of me that holds back in my creative subject matter for the exact reason of not wanting to be off-putting in how much I care about certain things. And on a separate note, I've been internally debating whether or not to make sex and the interactions around it actually influential and thematically tied into the plot of the games I'm writing. That's where I want to go with it naturally, but I think I've mainly been worried I'd alienate people with my perspective on sex and power dynamics. But like... controversial social dynamics that can be a mix of empowering and toxic are one of the things I am passionate about analyzing, dissecting, and writing. Basically, this was a really affirming read and I appreciate it lol.
Generally agree, though a bit put off by the entirely uncritical examinations Tarantino and co., whose mediums involve the use of real actors, real people, to (on occasion) deliver their own personally-appealing fetish content and the unironically creepy and sometimes predatory dynamics often involved in those kinds of circumstances. Especially when men of untouchable influence are the ones leading such projects.
Being a responsible and committed creep means tearing into what you love and ripping apart every shitty and bad aspect of it, just as much as it means celebrating the fun and good parts of it, lmao.
Fantastic
Very nicely said. All my favorite art is so good because it doesn't shy away from making the creator look weird. Fuck cringe culture and everything connected to it.
Yes... HAHAHA YES!!
Thank you for writing this, I used to feel kind of shamed by my fetishes, but recently been more open about them and including them in my works, and have felt a lot better about doing so
Glad to hear that other people feel the same way, I'm glad to be a sicko >:3
Haha, YES. (I absolutely agree with everything you said, it's like you put my thoughts into words, power be to the perverted and the enthusiastic without any shame.
Beautifully put.
nice
Awesome essay.
As someone below said, I’m not sure if “hyperreality” is the right term to describe it since people will think of the Matrix and the boring numbing stuff that the writer is railing against. But I get the idea of what “hyperreality” is supposed to be about: a more truthful, honest depiction of reality without the pretensions of normalcy and restraint.
So true. The word 'cringe' is a mind poison.
So I basically agree with the thesis here, but I am a little confused by your use of term "hyperreality." As I understand it, hyperreality doesn't refer to all fiction, but specifically media that - by following a generic model - is so detached from lived experience as to lose all meaning. In this sense, it doesn't simply "bend the nature of true life to remove the worst bits and intensify the bits we get off to," rather there are no longer any features of "true life," good or bad. It's "hyper" not in the sense of being extreme, but rather as being above reality, superimposed on top of reality like the map Baudrillard describes at the beginning of Simulacra and Simulation. It's a numbness which offers just enough pleasure to tug at our dopamine receptors, but which is ultimately unsatisfying. It seems to me that hyperreality is diametrically imposed to the kind of visceral, passionate creativity that you're celebrating, but you almost seem to conflate the two. Am I missing something? Are you working from a different definition of the word? I'm not trying to be a pedantic dick, just genuinely curious if there's some theory regarding hyperreality that I'm not familiar with here.
"Be a pervert" is gonna stick in my brain whenever I make art. Incredible piece!
i feel a bit more comfortable about myself after reading this
stuff like this is lowkey peak itch.io and I love this website for it
this was honestly really eye openeing and good, i really loved this!! :3
Thank you for this, it was very inspiring!! It makes me want to produce more self-indulgent shit
you're SO right. power to the perverts and the self-indulgent!
YES!!! YES
Thank you, this taught me to be more crazy about my stuff and I was able to get my crazyness published. Thank you so much!!
I've been worrying a lot these days if the games i make are too self-indulgent, or just otherwise too hyperfocused on the things i care about, for people to give a fuck about. i worry that maybe i should tone my shit down a bit, because being too raw and emotional and honest could mean opening myself to ridicule.
this essay is making me radically rethink how i approach my anxieties about this. thank you.
Excellent. Articulate. Thanks.
Hi Domino Club.
This essay was a huge influence on me and I think it's important to a lot of other people too.
I know this is an unusual request but would you consider submitting it to the Queer Games Bundle?
I view each year of the queer games bundle as kind of a time capsule or a snapshot of queerness in games.
I think this essay would give players of the bundle an important perspective on the games in the bundle.
You can add your game here:
https://itch.io/jam/qgb23
i come back to this so often. sometimes i just keep it open in another tab while doing gamedev so i don't forget what matters. thanks so much for this!
So cool
This book freezes and plays a clicking sound on repeat on first click, showing no text. Any tips on how to fix it?
self indulgence usually makes better writing than attempting to please others
absolutely wonderful. keep it up you sickos
yes
This kicks so much ass and was a truly fantastic read.
All creators should embrace the inner sicko inside them. Own up to what you are into, the art that is the most impactful is the art where the creator is very into something, perhaps a bit too into something, and you can tell. Whatever that thing may be.
Fear and censorship of the self from said fear makes for work one will find either boring, or a drag to get through. Be true to yourself and channel that inner sicko into your craft. Go all in.
Whatever the medium may be, a game, book, art, comic, etc, your art will be so much better for it.
Can't state enough how great this was. Thank you so much for making this.
Ghosts of Pasha's "Paper Doll" is also pretty good background music for the act of reading this one
I thought that was quite well-reasoned. I believe that, in general, people get caught under not only their general tendency to be worried about sexuality due to a variety of societal influences (especially if raised in a conservative household) but also because they're uncertain of what it really means to pay attention to boundaries - the boundaries that matter are the ones that apply in our life interacting with other people directly, whereas what's considered acceptable in something one makes are quite different and much more arbitrary. That's where the urge to not make what /you/ want becomes so awkward and comes in - the urge to self-censor for the sake of success or something. Of course, if you want to make something lots of people will enjoy and won't dismiss on principle, or to try to convince people who aren't like you, there's a certain value to figuring out what people will "let down their defenses" around and try to interact with earnestly - but it's important to remember that just because people will often be dismissive about stuff doesn't mean you can't communicate with people who'll get a lot out of it by being totally earnest. And self-censoring oneself to try to get those people who'd dismiss you is more likely to mean you've weakened your creation into something not even you like for the sake of people who might not even glance at it anyway. It's important to be honest with one's self.
love this!!!! put into words what I was thinking but struggling to articulate, thank you for this!
massive fan of this essay, thought of these couple of passages from this review of uncharted 4 while reading it:
thanks so much for writing this. it's really hard 2 let go of that sense of embarrassment at expressing a genuine feeling/obsession/fetish but i'm getting there and it's very worth it. kill not the part of you that is cringe, kill the part that cringes!! much love<3
This was a great read, thank you so much <333
Fantastic read! To piggyback off ChellayTiger though, asexuals can be perverts in the more traditional sense. There are many kinds of asexuality.
you must have a fetish for writing good essays
Great read! Question about how asexuals and how they fit into this. Are they also "perverts" when they get really into their stories?
i am using pervert both literally and metaphorically here; the criticism of irony culture etc and the penultimate closing paragraph mentioning "perversion for nonsexual topis and themes" support this reading of it not being exclusively About Sex but, as the tweet quote suggests - the same passions drive both. (although for me personally and in the context of an increasingly puritanical culture, it is primarily a stance About Sex.)
-AUE
I see! Thanks for the wonderful response!
not to take away from the rly good answer but also as an asexual (or at least on the ace spectrum), i am one hell of a pervert in a sexual way too xD (asexuals be different though!)
fear is the art killer, love this
yes… ha ha ha… YES!
this is a really fun read and im definitely checking what kind of games you have now
Awesome essay, required reading basically